Saturday, February 18, 2006


Regardless how others may
structure their life, I (and Deb) measure time not by birthdays or January Firsts but by February 18s that go by. One year ago today was the 5 year mark, supposedly significant because on Feb 19, 2000, I went numb sitting on a chair in our kitchen and I remarked (probably to myself only) that it felt like it happened 5 years ago, even though it had only been just less than 24 hours. So, last Feb 18 I got to experience what 5 years actually feels like. I was sitting on a chair in my garage smoking a cigar (it was raining out) and I remarked to myself that 5 years is not really any better than 1 year was or 2.

All of a sudden, sitting there, I had what amounted to 10 minutes of peace. It seemed like a big knot in my neural networks had been untied. If there was a drug that could produce that sense, I would be on it. It did only last 10 minutes but it was good.

That was what got my year underway. The highlights of the next 12 months are what follows:
March - Deb and I went to the Ladies Dinah Shore-Nabisco golf tournament in Palm Springs for our wedding aniversary. Interestingly, we skipped church on Easter for that trip.
April-Deb and I (along with friends) went to the Eastern Orthodox Easter service and sang 'Christ conquered death by death'. Tina and Reuben announced that they were expecting their third child some time in November.
May-I had the pleasure of a kidney stone attack. I learned that if you are banking on morphine to get you out of issues with pain at some future point, you may be in for a disappointment. Emily and Alex announced that they were expecting their third child some time in January '06.
June-Deb and I travelled to Denver to visit Aunt Ruth. We had a great time talking with her and reminiscing. Sandwiched around the stop in Denver were days in Phoenix, Albuquerque, and national parks in Utah.
July- Black hole month.
August-Andrea and Tony announced that they were expecting their second child some time in late April '06.
September-Enrolled in the Ministry of the Word class at Westminster after several months (8) being away from seminary. I had serious reservations about continuing. But made the decision to enroll. The class was outstanding and I learned alot about gospel preaching.
October-The US government canceled its 5 billion dollar contract that I was working on, abruptly putting an end to everything I had done at work over the previous 5 years. Jennifer and Jim S. came for a visit. Pined for somehow being close to all of the family (impossible).
November- We started attending First Presbyterian Church. They have a great choir and a great organ. They play real music. MJS, grandson #4 was born on Nov. 15.
December-Finished my Ministry of the Word class, three credits closer to graduating. MJS was baptized
January-MCN, grandson #5 didn't make it under the '05 tax break wire but was the first child born in their town in 2006.

Tomorrow morning we will get up and tackle year seven.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Bruce,

I have a great deal of affection for you and your family. We will never understand the pain of your grief and loss, but we love you more than you know, and you always have friends in Texas.

In the words of Billy Joel, "Don't go changin' to try and please me...I love you just the way you are."

Jim

Anonymous said...

I just got back from my annual working at the Ohio/Western PA, WV IVCF winter conference (formerly Mannafest and now CROSSculture) where in 2000 I learned about Dacia's death in the midst of the hubub of life-giving worship and teaching and discipleship and community building. I never fail to remember...Love you lots.

Anonymous said...

I love both you and Deb and will continue to pray that the Lord will bless you with His peace each and every day.

Anonymous said...

Your post serves to illustrate how false the advice, "time will heal", or, "move on". My wish for you is strength to continue to put up with the pain, and remember all the good times God gave you with Dacia. Once more, what a beautiful woman.